I don't give up
by BrokenDream83
Summary: Castiel can't resign himself to her death and invokes Gabriel.....
1. I beg you, brother

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Supernatural or its characters, I'm just a sorrowful fan :(

* * *

"Gabriel!" he yelled at the top of his voice.

Few moments later, he appeared in front of him.

"Howdy, Cas!", Gabriel greeted, "what going on?"

Castiel looked at him. "I need your help" he said.

Gabriel frowned. "Really? What can I do for you?"

Castiel gulped before speaking. "Bring her back to life."

They looked at each other for a while, then Gabriel spoke. "Cas", he sighed, "I can't."

The angel clenched his fists. "Please, bring her back to life." he begged.

The archangel shook his head. "No Cas, it's impossible."

"I'm begging you brother, do it for me." Castiel said, a tear fell down his cheek.

Gabriel sighed deeply and shook his head. "Castiel, you know I can't do it, don't ask me that."

"Do you love me, Gabriel?" he asked suddenly.

The archangel stared at him puzzled. "Yes, Cas. You are my brother, how could I not love you?" he responded smiling at his younger brother.

"If it's true, then you have to do that. Please, give me Anna..." he begged with trembling voice.

Gabriel shrugged. "I'm sorry Cas, I really can't."

Castiel shook his head and looked at his brother angrily. " Why don't you want to help me, Gabriel? You can do it but you don't want. I never asked you anything, I knew where you were but I never said a word. Now I'm begging you and you turn your back on me!" he cried out.

"Cas! I can't defy Michael, do you understand?" Gabriel blurted out.

Castiel was silent, looked in his eyes and nodded. "I know", he said, "but I can't bear...." he moaned.

Gabriel walked to him. "Castiel, I'm sorry but I can't defy him. She wanted to kill his vessel's parents."

Castiel nodded slowly. "I know, but someone sent her . She.... she wasn't a betrayer..."

Gabriel smiled. "Cas... Anna has disobeyed."

"I know, Gabriel. I know", Castiel murmured, "but I need her... please, help me."

Gabriel didn't know what to say, he looked at his little brother and he felt powerless. "Please Castiel, don't ask me that, I can't." he repeated.

"You can!" the angel shouted.

"Yes brother, I could and believe me, I would like but I can't do it, I'm sorry."

"You don't understand my sorrow", Castiel said, "it's all my fault."

"What? Don't tell crap, pal!" Gabriel reproached him.

The anger flamed in his hazel eyes. Castiel was as innocent as a newborn. Nothing was his fault.

"Yes Gabriel, it's my fault! I could avoid all this!" he yelled.

The Archangel laughed. "How?" he asked.

"When Anna remembered who she was, I would have to protect her. I was blinded by my loyalty to the garrison, I feared to lose my wings. If only I had been braver, she would not die" Castiel explained to his older brother.

Gabriel stared at him frowning. "Are you serious, Cas? Would you have preferred to disobey in order to help a fallen angel?"

"I did it, and we didn't manage to stop the Apocalypse. If I had disobeyed then....."

"Enough", Gabriel snapped, "you can't be serious. You're upset now, I understand, but..."

"I loved Anna. I love her. I never told ...." he confessed trying to hold back his tears.

Gabriel sighed. "I know Cas, but she left you." he said gently.

The angel nodded. "Yes, and I think I will never forgive her for that. But I need her, so I beg you again, give me Anna. Raphael killed me and now I'm here, you can bring her back here. Please."

"No."

"Take my grace." Castiel said.

"What?"

"Take my grace. Take it and give me Anna. Make us humans."

Gabriel chuckled. "You are crazy brother, if I take your grace, you die."

Castiel shook his head. "I don't know what to do, I can offer just my wings."

"Forget her."

"I can't, I'll never forget Anna."

"I can't help you Castiel" Gabriel said.

"I see. I'm sorry to have bothered you. I apologize." Castiel said in a dry tone and turned.

Gabriel was really sorry for his younger brother, but he couldn't defy Michael. His older brother would punished him.

"Castiel!", he called, "please, wait."

Castiel stopped. "What."

"Look", began, "I want to be honest, I didn't like Anna, but believe me, I would like bring her back to life just for you. I can't, Michael could kill me..."

Castiel nodded briefly. "I understand... it doesn't matter"

The Archangel saw something strange in his eyes. "What have you got in mind?" he asked suspicious.

Castiel shrugged. "I don't know yet, but it's no business of yours." he responded harshly

His tone gave him the creeps. "Cas... Michael will kill you if you will try to..." Gabriel warned his brother, but he interrupted him.

"I don't give up, Gabriel. I will find out a way..." said Castiel with firmness.

"You are mad, Castiel. He isn't me, do you want die?" asked Gabriel.

The angel nodded and stared at him. "Yes, maybe I'm mad. I won't give up, I will find out the way to bring her back to life."

"I won't let you do it", Gabriel cried out, "you will die! I will stop you!"

"You'll have to kill me." Castiel replied and disappeared.


	2. I want help you, Cas

Two weeks had passed since she had died. Castiel had not found yet the way to bring her back. He had tried everything he knew, every prayer, every word, every symbol. Every magic formula. He had prayed in all the languages he knew.

Nothing had worked.

Only an Archangel could do it, and God, of course. But Castiel knew the one who could give him back Anna, without disturbing God. He couldn't believe that Gabriel didn't want to help him.

Castiel had always known that Gabriel was the Trickster, but he had never betrayed him. He had tried to cover up Gabriel's identity even with the Winchesters. Why didn't he want to help him?

Gabriel knew what Anna was to him.

Castiel sighed shaking his head. Gabriel would never helped him: he didn't like Anna because she had fallen... no, he didn't like Anna because she had hurt Castiel.

It was true.

When she had fallen, he had felt betrayed, hurt, and alone. He couldn't understand why she had done it and he couldn't help but hold a grudge against Anna.

Castiel had hated her.

But now.. now he was desperate.

Anna wasn't in prison, neither in Heaven nor in Hell.

She was dead.

Burnt by Michael.

It was his fault, Castiel would had to protect her.

His blind loyalty, his fear, his... jealousy...

Yes.

His jealousy.

Anna had looked at Castiel defiantly and then she had kissed Dean in front of him.

Just to hurt him.

Castiel covered his face with his hands: those memories still hurt him.

But the sorrow for her death was stronger than everything.

He lifted his head: he had to find the way to bring her back to life.

Yeah, but what?

A thought flashed through his mind.

Make a deal. Maybe with Crowley, he was powerful...

"My God", he whispered," what am I thinking?"

Castiel was an angel, he couldn't make a deal with a demon or with... Lucifer himself.

Lucifer could...

"No!" he yelled to himself. "Forgive me, Father..." murmured.

Castiel was about to cry. He didn't know what to do. He wanted, but he didn't know how.

A deal with the Devil was a stupid and dangerous idea. Lucifer would have gained two rebel angels.

_But we will be together_

Yes, two fricking fallen angels!

The angel shook his head. "I'm going crazy." he moaned.

He couldn't resign himself, but he really didn't know what to do.

Anna was dead and he couldn't do anything for her.

Castiel sighed and started to cry: everything was lost.

Suddenly, a strong beating of wings announced him that he wasn't alone.

"What do you want, Gabriel?" he asked harshly.

"Are you angry with me, Cas?"

Castiel turned around and looked at his brother. Gabriel saw his tears and felt bad.

"Why should I be angry with you?" Castiel replied sarcastically.

"Cas..." he began

Castiel interrupted him. "Yes, I know. It's okay." he lied.

Gabriel frowned. "Really? So why are you crying?"

Castiel shrugged. "Hobby."

"Castiel, don't you do so. Don't cut me off from your life..."

"What?", Castiel yelled, "I'm sorry brother, but I'm not in the mood of jokes."

"Jokes?" Gabriel didn't understand.

Castiel nodded. "Yes. **You** have done that to me when you have escaped from Heaven. Everyone I loved have escaped from Heaven.... I don't...." his voice broke.

"Why are you here?" Castiel asked him.

"We have to talk."

Castiel gave him a tired smile. "About what." he said.

The Archangel stared at his younger brother. "Anna."

Castiel stiffened. "We already have talked about her, haven't we?" he said in a harsh tone.

"Man, stop using that tone with me." Gabriel said with a severe expression.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I'm really sorry." he apologized ironically.

Gabriel was silent and Castiel understood to have hurt him.

"Forgive me.. I really didn't mean to offend you..."

"I know Cas...", Gabriel came close to Castiel, "I know what you feel..." he said resting his hand on his brother's shoulder.

The angel shook his head. "You can't, not really." he affirmed with trembling voice.

"I... I loved Anna when everyone else wanted her dead. And I didn't do anything to save her..."

The Archangel sighed deeply. "I'm here for this..." he said.

Castiel looked at him confused "What do you mean?"

"I think I've found the way to help you..."

"Don't tease me." Castiel snapped and turned away from him.

"I don't, Cas. I'm serious."

Castiel frowned and looked in his eyes. He couldn't believe, it was too good to be true: did he want to help him?

It couldn't be, it was a trick.

"I don't get you. Don't you fear of Michael?" he asked.

Gabriel nodded. "Oh yes, I do. But you stupid little angel... you are important to me. You have been loyal to me, you have lied for me when the others asked you where I was. I can't.. revive her, but I think I can do something..."

Castiel's heart began to pulse faster. "What?"

"You have to trust me, Cas. My plan could be dangerous..." the Archangel began.

"Could be?"

"Okay.. it's dangerous." Gabriel said.

Castiel laughed. "Fantastic." he replied ironically.

His brother rolled his eyes. "So, do you trust me?"

"Not much, but I have no choice." Castiel responded.

Gabriel sighed. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Now listen to me, Cas."

Castiel nodded. He would have done everything to bring her back to life. Everything.


	3. She's save!

Castiel listened carefully Gabriel's plan. It was a crazy plan.

"What do you think?" asked the Archangel.

Castiel gazed at him suspiciously. "You are kidding, aren't you?"

Gabriel seemed offended. "What? What the hell!" he moaned in a shrill voice "I'm not kidding you, Cas! I really wanna help you, but you must trust me."

Castiel sighed deeply. "You... you say I must trust you... how can I trust you? You have tried to kill me. And now you say me that you want send me back into the past to save Anna? I'm almost dead the last time I did it. It's a suicide." he said shaking his head.

"I didn't want to kill you, brother! You know it! Anyway, it's the only chance to save Anna, the only one. You have to go back in the 2009 to avoiding her catching."

Castiel thought it over. He didn't know if he could trust Gabriel, but it was really the only opportunity to save his love.

He missed her so much....

When she was away, somewhere in the Heaven or in the World, the angel knew that he would see her again.

Castiel still couldn't believe that Anna was dead...

He wanted save her to all costs.

"Okay", he nodded, "I will go."

Gabriel looked at him attentively. "Are you sure? I mean... you trust me?"

The Angel sighed. "Honestly... I still don't know if I can trust you completely", he began, "you are... the Trickster. But I must trust you. You are the only one who can help me. Please, don't deceive me." Castiel begged his brother with trembling voice.

If before he had doubts about it, now Gabriel was absolutely sure to do that. Castiel's happiness was more important than everything.

When his older brothers fought, Gabriel felt sad, alone and powerless.

Few centuries later, God created Castiel. A naive, strange little angel who followed him everywhere he went. Gabriel knew to having hurt him when he escaped from Heaven leaving him alone, then had been Anna to escape.

It was the time for them to make amends for all he had suffered.

"Okay, man", said Gabriel resting his hand on his brother's shoulder, "listen to me. I can't use only my powers, I fear someone might feel that and understand what we're doing." he explained to Castiel.

The angel nodded. "I get it... what have we to do?"

Gabriel cleared his throat. "You have to use your powers, you must help me."

Castiel was silent a long while. He was almost dead the last time and still didn't know how he managed to survive and come back in his time. The angel didn't want to die.

Gabriel understood his doubts. "Look brother", he said, "If only I could, I would give you your woman even if I don't agree with your feelings for her. I can't do that and I can't show all my powers. You know why." he remarked.

"So, this is the only way to do that...."

Castiel interrupted him. "That's okay, I agree, let's do it."

His brother sighed. "Are you sure you want to do that, Cas?"

"Absolutely. Help me to come back to one year ago. I'm ready."

Gabriel saw the determination in Castiel's eyes, but he was afraid. That trip was dangerous, very dangerous and the Archangel feared that his brother didn't realize.

"Gabriel?" said Castiel.

" As you wish, brother!" exclaimed Gabriel. "Here we go!"

The archangel put his hand on Castiel's forehead. The angel closed his eyes and....

/-----/

Castiel felt a sharp stab of pain in his head. His nose was bleeding and his eyes were blurry, but he had to go on. He looked around and recognized the place. Castiel was on the riverside, where the angels had taken Anna.

The angel heard voices, blinked his eyes and recognized the people who were talking: himself and … Anna.

"My God." he murmured in awe.

She was so beautiful. Her hair....Castiel had never touched them. He wanted stroke them.

There was no time to lose. He walked towards them, pulling out his knife from his pocket, the angels were coming.....

"_You really shouldn't have come."_

"Oh, crap!" Castiel moaned when the two angels appeared on either side of Anna. He felt weary but started to run as fast as he could.

He reached the four angels who didn't notice him. Castiel pushed Anna and she fell to the ground with a moan, then he stabbed the man in the throat and killed the woman with a stab in her chest.

Few seconds later, a blinding light exploded out of them. Castiel stared at the scene.

_I've just killed two angels,_ he thought.

Anna turned and looked up at him. "What...? Castiel?" she asked with surprise, then looked at the other... Castiel, who couldn't believe his own eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" 2009Castiel asked.

He ignored him and offered his hand to Anna.

"Let me help you..."

The woman stared at him puzzled, he looked like Castiel but... at the same time he was different. She accepted his help and put her hand on his.

2010Castiel smiled and held firmly Anna's hand to help her up.

Anna looked into his eyes and realized. "You... come from future..." she said.

"Yes..." he answered moved.

She was... there, in front of him. Alive! The angels didn't take her, he had managed to save Anna!

"Why did you do it? Why are you there?" she demanded.

"Future?" 2009Castiel said "It can't be true, you aren't me!"

2010Castiel looked at him grimly. "You son of a bitch", he snapped "Did you want her dead?"

The other frowned. "I didn't, but she has disobeyed and.."

"Shut up" said 2010Castiel, still holding Anna's hand. "You don't know what it would happen if I weren't come here now."

"Would they killed me?"

He turned and stared at her. He couldn't say what she was asking.

"We have no time, Anna" he responded "we have to leave."

"Leave?" she repeated.

2010Castiel nodded. "We have to go in 2010... you can't stay here... you have to come with me."

"No." 2009Castiel "she don't."

2010Castiel raised his hand and pointed his knife at his alter ego's throat. "Don't move"

"I knew, you aren't me. Would you kill yourself?"

2010Castiel gave a half smile. "Don't test me. I have nothing to lose..." and his nose started to bleed again.

"You bleed!" Anna shouted "are you injured?"

2010Castiel staggered back and Anna took him by the arm.

"I'm fine." 2010Castiel whispered to her.

"No, you aren't" Anna replied "your grace.... is trembling."

"Travelling back in time has side effects." 2009Castiel told.

2010Castiel looked at him with hostility. "Close your mouth."

"What are you doing? This is disobedience. They will punish us." 2009Castiel said with a severe expression.

The two men stared at each other for a while, then Castiel came from future walked on the other.

"I've got a news for you" he began "you will disobey tomorrow."

"What?" 2009Castiel and Anna said together.

2010Castiel nodded. "Yes, you will disobey in order to stop the Apocalypse. But you and the Winchesters will fail. And you... you will be cast out from Paradise..."

"You lie, I will never rebel!"

2010Castiel smiled. "Oh, you will. You'll lose everything... your powers.... slowly they will disappear."

Anna was shocked and without thinking about, took 2010Castiel's hand. He accepted it and looked at her with a sweet look.

"I'm fine Anna... I've chose that, I've tried to stop all this... but I've failed. I... I've betrayed you, and now I'm here to make amends."

"In your time.. am I dead?" she asked.

2010Castiel nodded. "Yes, you are." he responded with trembling voice. "It has been my fault."

Anna looked in his eyes and smiled. "Now you are here."

2009Castiel moved and 2010Castiel raised quickly his knife. "I told you don't move." he said with a harsh tone.

"I won't disobey." 2009Castiel said firmly.

"You will" the other repeated "and you'll die for it."

"What? You are alive." he remarked.

2010Castiel nodded. "Yes, but believe me, Raphael killed me. Someone brought me back to life...."

"Raphael? Did he kill me too?" Anna asked. She was afraid.

"We'll talk about it later, Anna. Now it's time to go. Take my hand and close your eyes..."

Anna nodded and clasped his hand with both hers. She was happy, Castiel was there to saving her. Castiel loved her, Anna felt it.

"You can't do it! The garrison will punish me!" 2009Castiel cried out.

"No, the garrison will not find out..."

"How?" he asked.

"It's a secret."

2009Castiel looked at Anna. "I didn't want kill you.. those were my orders..."

The woman nodded. "I know... but wrong orders can be ignored."

"I'm sorry..." he murmured lowering his eyes.

"Let's go Anna. I've lied, I'm not okay. It's really time to go..." 2010Castiel said. He really felt bad... he had a feeling of nausea. But was happy.

"Okay" Anna answered "I'm ready."

The two angels closed their eyes and vanished with a slight flash of light.

2009Castiel waited a while, then turned and watched at the river.

He smiled.

Anna was save.


End file.
